-- "Sanctuary - Part One"
Outline dated 3/29/94
Page 1: Please do not have the Astronaut say "My God."
Page 6: Please do not display unnecessary violence by having both a prolonged
battle between Magneto and the X-Men against Genoshans, and then bringing
in Sentinels for them to fight and more mutant allies, who will each have
to show off his or her power. Stick to the Sentinels only, and keep the
battle as brief as possible.
Page 7: Please avoid having Cortez call Magneto his "savior."
Page 8: Please avoid calling Magneto's followers "acolytes."
Page 9: Please do not refer to the objects as "killer satellites."
Page 11: Please do not have Cortez accuse the X-Men of "assassinating"
Magneto. Also on this page, Magneto's compartment should not look as though
it is burning, nor should Magneto be surrounded by flames -- no "fireball"
with him inside it. Perhaps the compartment could break up or eject Magneto
before it explodes.
Also, please change the villain's name from "Cortez" to something
non-Hispanic. There are no prominent Hispanic X-Men to provide balance
for this kind of negative character.
FROM: ERIC LEWALD
RE: "X-MEN" - OUTLINES
DATE: MONDAY, APRIL 4, 1994
Here are some reactions to your notes an the two outlines. Let me know
if I'm too far off base here. Otherwise, you might just wait to see how
the scripts play out.
"Sanctuary - Part One" (#300-48)
p. 1 - Fine.
p. 6 - I will have the writers keep this "double battle" to
a minimum, but I would like it to be a two stage progression, even if
the Sentinels come in almost immediately after the Genoshans start fighting.
I would like their entrance to be a surprise.
p. 7 - Fine.
p. 8 - We will keep this out of the dialogue, though that is what their
"team" is called in the comics (I assume about .001% of reading
them know of the religious origin of the word.).
p. 9 - Do you have a suggestion for a substitute? This is what armed satellites
are called. Like killer whales, it is an established category. If it is
important, we'll work around it.
p. 11 - Cortez's accusation in critical. My feeling is that "assassinate"
in a far "older" word than such accepted words as destroy or
eliminate. Surely any kid old enough to know its meaning won't be bothered
We will adjust Magneto's seeming demise (crucial for the drama).
FABIAN CORTEZ'S NAME - A big deal to us. Changing it would be like calling
Wolverine "Bill." Fabian is an Italian name. The only context
I know of for "Cortez" is for the Spanish Conquistador, not
a well-liked man in Latin American history. I do not believe that our
Latino audience will take this badly. Please consider it.
-- "Sanctuary 1: A Faithless Haven"
First Draft Script dated 4/23/94
Page 5: Please eliminate Magneto's line "Your scientists crossbreed
them like cattle."
Page 16: Please show that the Magistrate in the hovercraft is alright
when the craft is knocked out of the sky.
Page 17: Please show that Delgado is alright immediately after the Sentinel's
Page 26: Please do not show Amelia with suitcases in her hands when she
-- "Sanctuary - Part One: A Faithless Haven"
Rev. Pages - 5/6/94 (Pink)
Page 1: Please do not have the Cosmonaut yanked away from the satellite
and shown floating in space towards the asteroid, ending the Opening Teaser
with the impression that the astronaut is lost in space and will die.
Please make sure that it is clear that the Cosmonaut is alright throughout
Page 2: Just a storyboard caution that the "submachine-gun-sized
blasters" are unique looking and non-replicable.
Page 16: As mentioned in a previous note, please show that the Magistrate
in the hovercraft is alright when the craft is knocked out of the sky.
Page 26: As also mentioned previously, please do not show Amelia with
suitcases when she leaves Xavier.
-- "Sanctuary - Part One: A Faithless Haven"
Storyboard dated 6/2/94 (received 6/20/94)
Page 11: As noted at script stage, it is not acceptable to leave the Cosmonaut
tumbling through space. Please show him being pulled back into the shuttle
or some such on this page.
Pages 24-25: The scene in which United Nations security guards burst in
and spray the room with submachine gun-style laser fire is unacceptably
violent over-kill. There should be no need for delegates to duck because
of gunfire, and the security men should not have to fire their hand-held
blasters before Magneto takes their weapons away.
Page 127: Caution that, as it appears here, the hovercraft is only about
six feet off the ground when Cortez hurls the pilot out.
Pages 141, 167 and throughout: Please ask the producers to forward models
of the new Mutants in this episode. All women, including Unuscione, should
be modestly dressed -- no low-cut costumes, please. Also, what will the
"skinsuited" Genoshan slaves look like?
Page 145: Please show that the two guards are alright after they are blasted
off their feet.
Page 159: Please show that the two mutants hit by advancing Genoshan guards
are alright afterwards.
Page 212: Please do not show a suitcase in Amelia's hand when she leaves.
Page 257: Please do not give the two Nomads such large, hooked noses.